- Anti Joke

How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

Dane Cook makes a joke.

Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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