Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down -9

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII KATE WAS HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops