There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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what's black and can't swim?

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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hey hey apple

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops