A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Grace Ackerson

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? A BIKE!

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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