Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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