Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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lets bomb africa

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops