Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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