whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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guess what what ...

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Hello penis

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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