My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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