Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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guess what what ...

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Hello penis

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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