Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

What does the average fishermen catch Fish

I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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