What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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You had better thumbs up this post.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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