A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

knock knock Goodbye

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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