Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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