I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops