There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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