Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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