What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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