What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

I love pissing people off :P

Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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