Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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