- Anti Joke

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

if you are reading this your wasting your time

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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