"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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A gay man watches football.

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What did Osama bin Laden say when he heard loud gunshots outside his millitary compound? A: We'll never find out

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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I enjoy Popcorn

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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No your aunties a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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