Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

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why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops