Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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