Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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