9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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ugvvvvvv

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? Their skin color.

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whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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