Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A drunk guy walks into a car

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

hi, my name is zack, i have a boner from the girl to my right(;

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops