why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops