What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

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I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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YOU

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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