"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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