Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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copy me and i will kill you

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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meatspin.fr

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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