A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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A man died.

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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Dwight Howard

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops