Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

Face...the other white meat!

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

why are black people so fast? because there black

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

what is red white and blue? the french flag

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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