What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

In soviet Russia...things are different

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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