Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

3021 North Broadway Avenue

Charlie Sheen is winning

why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...