What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

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Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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