What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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