How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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What is a poop on a poopstick? A pile of poop.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops