Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

united we sit, cause we're fat

Sir, your wife is dead

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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