Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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Life

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Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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