A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

What did the dubstep say? Wub.

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...