Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops