What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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