What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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A storm be brewin!

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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