what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

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A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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