A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops