whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

thumb_up thumb_down +4

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops