How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops