What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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Gay rights.

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Q:What's worst than reading a bad joke? A: Reading a joke on anti-joke and the person who posted the joke obviously doesn't get how a anti-joke works. For example... read this again ^^

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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