Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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womens rights

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops