Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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