How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...