A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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