teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

like this if you think what ever you want to..

Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

What's clear and looks like water? Water.

your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

An African American and an hispanic man are in a car, who's driving? No one, they are having sex

Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

whats the best joke ever? womens rights

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...