I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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