what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

u know whats a crime? rape

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats funny about this joke? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops