- Anti Joke

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

READ IT ALL> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza...the jew is a human with living features and organs that keep his body hydrated while also keeping his blood pumped throughout him, otherwise the pizza is a circular, doe based cake like food topped with a fine layer of cheese and in some cases topped of with other substances such as pineapple or ham :)

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry