How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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