What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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Joesph Triphook.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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