What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

anti jokes are really funny

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

How many light bulbs? 1

Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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