Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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